I attended a workshop in Phoenix in September where I met a wonderful lady, Ginette King. I’m honored that she’s written today’s article for us. I think many of you will see a lot of similarities in her story.
Looking back, it’s tempting to romanticize that day. To make it into something easy and peaceful and simple.
To see it as something other than the incredibly clear focused turn-your-life-as-you-know-it-upside-down life moment that it was.
I was about to break free.
After months of internal churning, soul-searching, debating with myself, and many long hours of walking the sidewalks in my neighborhood, it finally became obvious what I had to do.
It felt like shining a laser beam into the foggy consciousness of my mind.
Clarity at last. The knowing came from the deepest core of my gut, a feeling I’d never experienced before with such certainty. And damn it felt good.
I now knew what I had to do, and it was going to be a doozy.
So, like someone about to walk across hot coals, you psyche up a bit and then just do it.
I was going to tell my husband I wanted divorce.
Divorce was something we had never discussed, not even once, despite us both being miserable together for the last few years of our 7-year relationship. We were used to peacefully co-existing in our dreary lives. But I had reached my breaking point.
In a twisted version of what Harry said to Sally, “When you realize you don’t want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”
Gone was the tentative girl who doubted her every move, gave everyone else the benefit of the doubt, and sacrificed her happiness because she was scared of her own freaking shadow. She has turned into a general, ready to make choices with military precision, thinking tactically, strategically, and empowered by that deep knowing.
I was ready as I was ever going to be. Instinctively, I knew being on neutral territory was important.
When he came home from work, I asked him to go for a walk down to the park. we sat in the quiet deserted park on the grass that late afternoon in Spring.
…You know we’ve had problems for a long time.
And you know we’ve both been unhappy.
I think we should get a divorce.
I think he went into shock.
He didn’t protest. He didn’t do much of anything.
I remember walking home from the park together after, placating his sensitive male ego (making it sound like a joint decision to split) while at the same time feeling liberated and eager to move forward with the logistics of extricating myself from our life.
Mostly I felt so proud of myself for having the guts to fight for my life! (And so UNimpressed with his lack of willingness to fight for his own happiness – why wasn’t he standing up for himself like I was? Maybe he would have eventually; maybe I just got to my breaking point first.)
Sure there were moments of brief terror as to what the heck I was going to do now – where would i live? What about the mortgage? What about my dog and cat?
But none of those terrified me as much as the idea of living the rest of my life as I had been – living a small gray existence, exhausted from feeling scared of the world, making soul-sucking safe choices, wasting time, and of feeling I was not worthy of happiness.
I was ready to live on MY terms – come what may. In my opinion, there is no other way to truly LIVE.
And I’ve never looked back.
Ginette King is an intuitively gifted empowerment expert, helping motivated souls step into their power and create lives of deep fulfillment and freedom. Her new book, “No More Zombie Living: Break Free of Feeling “Dead” and Live the Passionate Fun Life You Deserve” comes out next month. For more information, visit her website at